I thought it would be easy to come up with a list of things I love about being a dad to a little girl. But once I started writing, nothing seemed right.
There were, of course, the funny things. And the things you would expect. However, none of it genuinely captured my experience of being the father to a little girl.
My daughter, Godwin, is so many different things wrapped up in one package. I’m not sure those things have anything to do with the fact she is a little girl. She’s just Godwin.
But here are the things that surprised me about being a girl dad…
1. I am more protective of her.
I told myself that wasn’t the case, but it is. While I am protective of both my children, I was excited to see my son take more risks as he got older. With Godwin, though, I realized that I was focused on protecting her, whether it be from bullying, being made fun of because she wears glasses, or what I think will be the inevitable troublesome boy who will one day knock on my door. Although we joke about it, in my mind and heart, I’m prepared to scare some 15-year-old young man to death. When in reality, I’ve found Godwin is more than capable of taking care of herself, and I should probably be warning them.
Although I think I will always tend to want to protect the little girl we brought home from the hospital, my hope for her is to be daring and live without fear.
I want her to be willing to take risks to achieve what she wants. And if we do things right, she will know we are here without me hovering. She is strong like the women in her family before her, and hopefully, we are giving her the tools she needs to deal with that little boy who comes to the door.
2. “Girly Girls” who wear pink can also punch you in the face.
Godwin is a “Girly Girl.” She loves dolls, the color pink, and she likes to dance. I’m not saying this is, or should be the norm, but these are the things she loves and gravitates toward.
However, she also loves to watch “Spidey and Friends” and “Star Wars” with her brother. She is interested in sports and likes to rough house. And as I found out in the car one day, if her brother tempts her to hit him as hard as she can, she will, and it will be in the face. After seeing (or I should say hearing) the smack firsthand, I felt better about that first lesson I learned above.
The more I get to know Godwin, the more I realize she refuses to be defined as only one thing.
Isn’t that really what we all want?
No little girl is any one thing. She can sing and dance while wearing a princess dress and give you a black eye at the same time.
Just ask her brother.
3. She may punch you in the face, but she will also dry your tears.
Like most parents, I lose patience with my children and raise my voice. Every once in a while, tears are involved (from the kids and me).
I have feared being a tyrant to my children my whole life, so when I’m too hard on them, it bothers me a great deal. Both of our children are good-natured and accept my apology, but it is usually Godwin who tells me it will be alright. She jumps in my lap and gives me a huge hug. She tells me I’m a good daddy and that everyone makes mistakes. And then she grins and rubs me on the back.
I had no idea a four-year-old could do that.
Don’t get me wrong, my son is caring and nurturing, but there is something different about my daughter, and it makes me want to be a better person.
4. Baby girls make daddies question how they treat other women.
Before I go any further, this is not a political statement of any type. Having a son made me question what it meant to be a man, but having a daughter made me question how men treat women.
People talk all the time about modeling the right behaviors for our children. So, how do I show that to my daughter, specifically? There are, of course, the things my wife and I try to teach – be kind, use your manners, be part of a community, and show some grit when things get tough.
As I talked to other parents of little girls, it seemed that there are still a lot of bad examples of how men treat women. I’m not talking about the fairy tale ideas; I’m talking about things as simple as men treating women as equal partners in marriage. Loving and cherishing doesn’t mean smothering. I believe the key to a successful marriage is for both partners to not only be committed to one another but also to have their dreams supported by the other.
I want my daughter to see that in spades and for that to be her expectation in life and relationships.
5. She was the missing piece of our family.
Don’t get me wrong; we were happy when it was us, our son, Charlie, and our dog, Beau. We had a tight family unit, and when Godwin came along, we felt like we were hitting our stride. The idea of a second child was daunting, given that we had just moved towns and both had made career changes.
The reality is that Godwin brought us something new. It wasn’t just one thing; it was her essence and love. It was the amazement at having a new sister for Charlie. It was a new baby for my wife and me to love, who was completely different from Charlie but still part of us.
And it’s the hope of who she will one day become and the adventures she will have. It has enriched all of us, and now I can’t imagine our family without her.
I don’t know that my experience will be the same as yours, but I will tell you that having a little girl is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Before Godwin was born, my friend Michael said to me about his experience of having a daughter after his son, and it stuck with me.
I echo his sentiment when I tell you I don’t love her any more or less than Charlie; it is just different. And awesome.
I hope if you are lucky enough to have both, it will be the same for you.
Guest Contributor: Chuck Harris
Chuck is the husband of PMC contributor, Honey Harris. He and Honey left Washington DC in 2018, and they have called Pensacola home for the last five years with their two children, Charlie and Godwin, and two Black Labs. Although he is a native of Georgia, he has come to love Pensacola and all that it has to offer. He enjoys being with his family, playing golf, being a member of SubWest Rotary, and cheering on his beloved Clemson Tigers.
