Back to School with a Special Needs Student

In many households across the country, the state, and the county, many moms and dads celebrate the end of summer and the beginning of the school year. The kids head back to school, and parents get back to work, a schedule, and some occasional downtime.

It’s a back-to-school party, right? Not so fast. For many parents in the special needs or exceptional student world, this is not the case.

As August and the beginning of the school year draw near, a sense of dread falls over our household. My son, Matthew, dreads the beginning of school because he just doesn’t like school. Try as I might to get him to “like” school, I failed.

School presents Matthew with challenges everywhere he turns, sensory, academic, and social, to name a few. Challenges translate to stress, and stress compounds the behaviors he constantly works to improve.

Dread sneaks into my brain, too! The dread of phone calls or texts from the school during the day.

I live in constant fear that Matthew will have a “challenging” day at school and I will receive a call or text.

Knowing that when I pick him up from school, I must be in disciplinarian mode. He will be sad and remorseful about the incident, and our afternoon will be derailed.

I also dread the homework, nights, and weekends.

In order for Matthew to be successful in school, he (ahem, we) work hard on nights and weekends. I try to spread the work out into manageable amounts for him, but every student is different. What works for us might not work for you.

We learned early on in his academic career that weekends were our secret weapon. If we incorporated weekends into his weekly homework and study time management, the daily load lessened, and he maintained a better schedule. Still, I dread the change from the freedom of the summer schedule to the more rigid school year schedule.

Don’t get me wrong, Matthew loves his school, Mother Clelia Morning Star High School, and his teachers. He knows they want to help him be successful and become the best version of Matthew possible. We love his school and how the faculty works with us to formulate the best plan for him.

It’s just not easy.

If you are navigating special needs education, I suspect you, too, dread the beginning of the school year just a little bit. Make sure your ducks are in a row with the teacher, the school, the county (or diocese), and the state to help set up your student for success. Having a behavior plan established, sensory supports in place, and an academic plan (IEP or 504) set, leaves less room for failure. Here are some ideas for how to set your student up for success or how to connect with services if you are in the procuring a diagnosis phase.

Connect with a professional.

In order to receive support services or accommodations in a public or private school setting, a student needs a diagnosis. In the public school system, a request for testing flows through the principal or guidance counselor. While in a private school, the process varies by school and might be purely parent-driven. A child under five receives testing and referrals through the public school system’s Child Find program.  Navigating the diagnosis process requires patience.

Some of the professionals providing educational diagnostic testing include: Karen Patterson Hagerott, Ph.D., Dr. Ali Kizilbash, as well as multiple providers at Psychological Associates, P.A. A referral from your pediatrician may be required.

Receive a diagnosis.

Receiving services without a diagnosis can be difficult. The diagnosis, or label, opens the door for life-changing services. Utilize those services. If they fall short, work with the team to improve them. Make sure you and your child, if possible, know who provides the services.

By name.

Knowing and working with these professionals can make a great difference for your student. Once you receive the diagnosis, provide it to the school guidance counselor and request an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting. If the diagnosis affects the student’s education, a team will construct an IEP. This all takes time, so again, patience.

Keep the lines of communication open.

Communicate freely and regularly with anyone who works with your student. From homeroom teachers to paraprofessionals, therapists to elective teachers, pediatricians to bus drivers. Schedule a meeting with the main teacher before the first day of school to review the IEP, behavior plans, challenges the student faces, environmental triggers, etc., so they can best support your child.

Ask for regular communication in return and decide on a process for that communication, including how it will be shared with others who support your student.

Set reasonable expectations for the return to school.

Let me repeat that. Set reasonable expectations for the return to school.

Change is hard for any of us. Change is especially hard for special needs students.

Work with your child to prepare ahead. Return to the school sleep schedule. Discuss behavior expectations. Talk about the challenges ahead. Pray.

Work with your student to set them up for success.