I Do, Again

As a young girl, I had grand aspirations for my special day. I would twirl around my room, donning a makeshift wedding dress, my grandmother’s pearls, and those translucent plastic heels. In my fantasies, I would imagine the identity of my prince charming and sketch out elaborate designs for a ten-tiered wedding cake (unaware of its extravagant cost). With great pride, I would display my beautiful (albeit sticky) ring pop on my finger.

Every little girl dreams of her perfect wedding.

At the age of 24, I experienced that picture-perfect wedding I had envisioned. It was like something straight out of a magazine, fulfilling the dreams of six-year-old Robin—minus the grape ring pop and extremely uncomfortable plastic shoes. The elegant ballroom glowed that August evening as I brought my childhood fantasies to life before 300 of my closest family and friends. I adhered to every wedding tradition, and the six-year-old Robin inside me beamed with joy.

Fast forward 16 years, and here I am at 40, planning another wedding. This one, however, does not align with the fantasies of my childhood. There is no cookie-cutter mold to follow this time, and in fact, I feel an overwhelming urge to deviate from tradition.

Been there, done that.

This time around, my priorities have shifted. My life has become busier and more complex, leaving me little time (or desire) to obsess over place cards or the flavor of the wedding cake. Those things no longer hold the same importance.

The biggest difference now is that this wedding isn’t solely about the bride and groom. Two young women hold a central place in the meaning of this union—my daughters, who proudly stood as my maids of honor. It was vital (and fun) to have them be part of the planning process.

Their most important request: for the three of us to wear sneakers and that we serve cotton candy at the reception.

Done and done.

Over the past 16 years, I’ve gained valuable insights (and acquired much better taste), particularly when it comes to wedding planning.

Here are my biggest pieces of advice for planning your wedding (whether it is your first or fourth):

1. There are no rules. (No veil? No problem. Getting married on the stage of a rock concert venue? Sure. Taking pictures in the rain? Why not?)

2. The wedding cake often goes uneaten, so it’s okay to skip it.

3. Choose one of your best friends to officiate the ceremony. It only takes a minute to get ordained online.

4. Embrace the comfort of sneakers.

5. Late-night Whataburger is a must.

6. Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette parties are incredibly fun. (What could go wrong with 30 of your closest friends on a 4-night cruise?) 

Though my second wedding may not have aligned with the visions of my younger self, I can confidently say that it surpassed the wildest dreams of 40-year-old Robin.

It was the perfect wedding.