Do you feel a sense of dread as soon as Halloween lights go up because you know the holiday season is on its way?
Being a step-mom can be challenging enough without the added stress of the holidays, so please go easy on yourself. This time of year is hard, even for “regular” moms who are raising children with the partner they married.In fact, the word “step-mom” can be substituted for mom, bio-mom, bonus mom, etc. It applies to all of us!
Here are 5 tips for saving your sanity and surviving the holidays:
1. Affirmations
You may think affirmations are stupid. Try it anyway. “I am worthy of happiness. No matter what comes my way today, I will be confident and happy.” Put it on a post-it on your bathroom mirror or as the home screen on your phone. Start believing it. You are not evil. You are a warrior goddess who is doing the hardest job in the world; being a mother.
2. Treat Yo’self
Seriously. Buy yourself something special, wrap it up, and put it under the tree. This way, if your step-kids don’t even make you a Dang card, it will sting less. This tip is great for moms in ALL types of families. Remember the Saturday Night Live skit where the mom, Kristen Wiig, only receives a robe, and everyone else gets magical gifts? Don’t. Be. Her.
3. Create New Traditions With Your Step-Kids
Two years ago, we found a homemade cinnamon roll recipe, and it took five hours from preheating to the cinnamon roll melting in our mouths. The step-kids STILL talk about it, although I haven’t been brave enough to try it again.
Let me rephrase that, “Create new and simple traditions with the step-kids.” It’s about making new memories. You’re not the kids’ biological mom and never will be…you get to be whatever role you want! So why not have the kids remember you as the fun adult who loved them AND did fun things with them through childhood?
4. Get Fresh Air
Seriously. Get your bootie outside and take a walk, ride your bike, or take Fido for a walk. Hop on your bike. Anything to get your blood flowing.
You can also read fellow PMC contributor Mandy Fernandez’s article, “Enter Holidays with a Healthy Mindset.”
5. Remember, “Special” Days are Just a Day
Someone else has told us these days are special and all-powerful. Think I’m full of s%&? This year I’ll be with my step-kids and not my bio daughter on Christmas Day. My little sidekick will be with her daddy. She has a wonderful dad who adores her, but ANY day without my daughter can seem despairingly lonely. Soooooo…..I’ve already started preparing my mind to think of this day as simply a fun day to spread cheer and an opportunity to bond with my step-kids. If I start feeling down, I’m going to hone in on tips 1 and 4 and remember it’s only 24 hours.
Holidays are fleeting, but your mental health is sacred through all seasons.
Take care of yourself, try to get your mindset in check, and please send us a pic of what gift you bought to treat yo’self.
Thank you so much for this article! I needed it –especially today when we celebrate with the stepkids. My husband plays Disney daddy, and we all have to spend time watching my SD open ALL her gifts. I have learned to deal with no card, and no Merry Christmas wish. For 5 long years, I tried to think of something nice to give them for Christmas and kept responding with how I want to be treated, but I am done. This year I am disengaging, because furniture doesn’t give gifts nor do extra things.