My One Word

Each year, millions of people make New Year’s resolutions.

According to Forbes Magazine, only 8 percent of people who make resolutions stick to them after the first month.

Forbes states, “Failing at New Year’s resolutions is so common that there’s even a slew of (unofficial) dates commemorating such failures—some sources cite ‘Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day’ as January 17 while others denote the second Friday in January as ‘Quitter’s Day.’”

Wow!!! What does that say about us as a society? What does that say about me? Are we all just a bunch of quitters?

Upon self-reflection and a road map of unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions behind me, I decided to take a closer look at my failures. I noticed that the vast majority of resolutions I had made were ones steeped in negativity.

• GIVE UP CUSSING – I have the mouth of a sailor – not gonna happen.
• GIVE UP SUGAR – It is the base of my food pyramid.
• LOSE WEIGHT – I am reminded of my ever-expanding waistline each time I look at the closet full of clothes in sizes that I dream I could still wear.
• GIVE UP DRINKING – I like to have a beer with dinner – no one really cares if I have one or two nightly, right?
• EXERCISE MORE – I have grown fond of my jiggly arms and legs. Besides, I have a long list of shows on Netflix to catch up on.

You get the picture…

I believe there is a direct link between negative thoughts and failure.

If you think of becoming your best self through the lens of who you are not – not skinny, not a trash mouth, not fit as a fiddle, then what is the motivation to succeed?  If you realize you dropped the F-bomb on Quitter’s Day while getting out of bed, what’s the point of continuing?

I say, “QUITTERS UNITE!”

But there may be a better way to become the best version of yourself, and it comes in the form of just one simple word.

Over ten years ago, a friend introduced me to a concept called My One Word. The idea is pretty basic: you lay down the long list of changes you want to make and replace them with one word, which will guide how you want to live the upcoming year.

The process is worth the effort, and by the time February rolls around, you will find yourself invigorated rather than judging yourself as the loser you think you are because you failed at a resolution steeped in all the things you are not.

Over the years, I have had great words: compassion, intention, serve, bless, stay, to name a few.

Choosing this year’s word, however, was a challenge for me. For a couple of months, I have had all these “RE” words swirling around in my head: renew, reinvigorate, reinvent, reboot, readjust, revitalize. Although they all seem perfect, none feel the way previous words have (when you find your word, TRUST ME – you WILL KNOW IT).

As the Epiphany rapidly approached on January 6th, I started feeling anxious because none of my “RE” words seemed to fit. I was almost to the point of picking 20 words instead of just one.

I even contemplated choosing one word a month. But that would not feel right, would it?

And then my Mom, true to form, nudged me.

In October, she passed away quite unexpectedly. Her absence has ravaged me. She is nowhere, yet everywhere. I can’t go into her house. I can’t bring myself to wash the clothes that have been in the hamper since October 21^st.

I long for her.

Yet, in the craziest places, I see her. I smell her. I feel her presence.

She is right beside me, nudging me as she always has been.

For as many years as I can remember, my mom had a little bundle sitting on top of a heart-shaped box next to her sink. The bundle comprised a small cross-stiched pin that said “Peace.” Attached are two small pins that say “I AM LOVED” in English and Spanish. A red paper clip holding scraps of paper is affixed to the bundle.

I have looked at this bundle a million times but have never really seen it. After my mom’s death, my niece and I took a closer look. The scraps of paper attached to the button are three in number and have a single word in my mom’s handwriting on them.

The first is patience.

The second is faithfulness.

And the last one is courage.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. This was my mom’s love letter – her recipe for survival without her.

• I am LOVED
• PEACE is with me.
• I should slow down and have PATIENCE.
• To survive this life, I must have FAITHFULNESS
• Life without my parents will take lots of COURAGE.

I took this gift – her words – and I chose one.

C O U R A G E is my word for 2024.

• Courage to live a life without my mom and dad
• Courage to do the hard things
• Courage to embrace as many RE-words as I want to
• Courage to love others
• Courage to try new things
• Courage to say “I am sorry”
• Courage to live my best life
• Courage to love myself
• Courage to offer forgiveness
• Courage to let things and people go
• Courage to be a place where others can land
• Courage to take each day one step at a time

Armed – quite literally – with one word, I am ready for 2024 and filled with anticipation for what is to come.

Happy New Year!