Ok, so there are no actual rules of motherhood.
Words of wisdom? Yes.
Opinions? Unfortunately.
But, rules? No. Definitely not.
There Are No Rules
There are so many things I don’t know about motherhood that I don’t want anyone to tell me (unless I ask). We each have our own journeys and experiences, which makes motherhood so unique. However, we have enough common experiences which link us together as a village of women trying to do and be the best for our children, even in moments of self-doubt and epic failures.
Much like life in general, motherhood can be full curveballs and false advertisements. The evolution of motherhood keeps us on our toes and (mostly) prepared for the unexpected.
None of us were presented with the Manual of Motherhood. As mothers, we aren’t intended to follow someone else’s footsteps. Or rules. 
Instead, we must blaze our own trails, which will be littered with both success and failure. As if naturally hard-wired for the ultimate responsibility of caring for another human completely dependent upon us, we somehow find our own way. That’s not to say we can’t or shouldn’t ask for help or advice. We absolutely should! But much like a snowflake, no two mothers are alike.
We are all writing our own chapters of this invisible manual.
Throw Out The Rules You’ve Heard Before
You know the ones I’m talking about…
Moms can’t enjoy a glass (or two) of Prosecco.
Moms should stay home and take care of the kids.
Girl, please!
If this is the book you’ve been reading all these years…put it down. Throw it away. Burn it. This is not the book for you or any mother! Instead, pick up the book that tells you it’s OK (expected and inevitable even) to make mistakes, give yourself grace, and ask for help.
These are the chapters you need to read.
Don’t be pressured into thinking there is a certain way to mother your children. Turn off that voice in your head that tells you you must be this or that. And, for crying out loud…stop listening to those who make you feel less than the amazing mother you already are.
You can listen to all the unsolicited advice of those who have come before you and read all the propaganda that professes to tell you the Holy Grail of motherhood.
Or you can let this be your journey. Not mine. And certainly not Karen’s.
I’ll save you the trouble of searching for the secret of motherhood that no one wants to talk about.
The secret is…motherhood is hard. Period.
It’s hard when everyone is watching you. When you feel judged by a line of strangers as you cave and buy the candy bar your toddler is melting down over just so you can pay for your groceries and sprint to the car (where she’ll enjoy the candy bar, and you’ll burst into tears). It’s just as hard when no one is watching – leaving us sitting in constant judgment of ourselves. We are our own worst critics when really we are doing better than we think we are.
Love yourself enough to start with a clean slate every day.
Make Your Own Rules
You may have heard someone say you’ve only got one shot at this motherhood thing.
Don’t listen to that guy!
Each and every day is a new opportunity. We are more likely to get it wrong than we are to get it right every time.
Never let your worst day define you.
Why is it easier to dwell on our mistakes than to recognize and celebrate our own accomplishments? Even if your only accomplishments that day include taking a shower and keeping the kids alive, that’s something to be proud of!
Because some days are just hard. And, even on our worst days, we are enough!
Read that again. And believe it in your soul!
Take the good with the bad.
Enjoy the good. Learn from the bad.
Lean on your villagers as you navigate motherhood. Find your people. Just remember, at the end of the day, you have to decide what is right for you and your family. There are many footprints on the path of motherhood. Be sure to make your own!
Remember, the only rule of motherhood is…there are no rules.
Be the mother YOU want to be!
I’ve got this! You’ve got this! We’ve got this!
