An Open Letter to All the Mamas Who Came Before Us

To All the Mamas Who Came Before Us: Please accept our sincerest apologies. 

We apologize for getting frustrated when you could not return our texts or phone calls.

Because the truth is you do want to talk to your girlfriends. DESPERATELY.  However, it is almost impossible to keep correspondence in a timely manner when your little one demands your full and undivided attention.

You were trying. 

We know that now.  

We apologize for getting disappointed or frustrated when you would cancel plans.

Because you wanted your Girls Night Out. Heck, you needed it.  You needed to feel like more than just a mama for an hour- maybe two.

However, what we did not understand at the time was that it is hard and your family came first not because you felt you no longer mattered, but because what mattered most for you was their well-being. The babies depended on you.  They needed you for comfort and warmth.  And frankly, you needed them for those bedtime snuggles, post-soccer game pep talks,  and mealtime conversations too. 

Your family worked together as a unit.  When your husband was working late, it was hard to adjust.  When you knew sleep regression was happening, asking you to miss precious hours of sleep was almost too much to ask.

Oh, did I even mention the mommy guilt?! It is all-consuming and real, and you struggled with it whenever you needed, let alone wanted to do something that did not involve the little ones. 

Your whole family was your number one priority, then and always. 

We know that now. 

We apologize for getting frustrated when you were always late. 

Because honestly, getting out the door even close to the planned meeting time was a freaking miracle. 

Gone were the days of you just getting dressed and grabbing your stuff.  In order to be somewhere at a planned time, you had to prepare at least one additional hour ahead, and something would ALWAYS pop up. 

Diaper blowouts.  Lost toys (or backpacks or cell phone or keys or shoes….the list goes on), etc. We know you were trying. 

We know it was causing you so much stress. 

We know that now. 

We apologize for not being understanding when you started to leave work earlier. 

Because you were not leaving work early – you were just leaving work to pick up your kids. 

In fact, you were probably working when we were all sleeping – whether it be 11:00 PM or 4:00 AM because your work ethic did not change, just your amount of responsibilities. 

You were trying to find a way to do it all so much so that you had found a new level of exhaustion at times. 

We know that now. 

We apologize for not truly valuing the importance of your routines. 

Because although we might have once looked at it as too rigid, we now get that the routine is actually healthy.

Children need structure- they crave it.  From the moment they are infants to the teenage years, that structure and routine help every member of the family find calmness within the stormiest of days. 

We know that now. 

We apologize, SINCERELY, forever, even for a microsecond, wondering what you did all day if you were staying at home with the baby.

Because it is a full-time job.  No, it is a 24-hour, seven-days a week job without vacation time or sick leave.  

Even during naptime, you were busy with cleaning up all the toys that the toddler tornado pulled out within two hours, prepping your big kids’ meals, planning around all members of the family’s needs, and just hoping you could maybe sneak in a shower and curl your hair that day.

We know that now. 

To all the Mamas who came before us, we are all want to apologize, but…

We also need to thank you…

Thank you for loving us, even though we did not fully understand what you were going through. 

Thank you for always sharing your amazing stories and beautiful photographs…and there were so, so MANY. 

Thank you for picking up the phone and answering all our frantic pregnancy and child-rearing questions. 

Thank you for paving the way for women in the workplace and finding the best routines and disciplines for the children when at home. 

Thank you. Sincerely. 

Motherhood – in all its forms – is probably one of the most humbling and beautiful experiences. 

Even the most Type-A personality (Hi, nice to meet you) has to learn to relinquish control and find humor and happiness in unexpected moments.  

But honestly, that is the beauty of it, right? 

As a mama, we now know something unique and beautiful in the world.  We know that there is a love so fierce, so all-encompassing, that what we once thought was a priority now shifts and the only priority that matters is the well-being of those beautiful faces we get to tuck into bed. 

Mamas, sorry we did not get it before. 

But we are so grateful we understand and get to live it now…..even the diaper blowouts. 

Sincerely, 

Us