I’m tired. Aren’t you?
Some are talking about Covid fatigue. I believe it. But this is something else. The usual mom fatigue. Though, I suppose the pandemic has affected me too.
I’ve been a mom for eight years. On my own for the most part. My child(ren) as my focus.
I’m not the first. I won’t be the last.
With a husband overseas for the better part of a decade, it’s been…tough, at times.
The Gift is in the Choice
The choice is to focus on and just be a mom. The gift is being able to do it.
Day in and day out.
To have the option to stay home and not worry about where the next meal is coming from is wonderful. I have the ability to hear the stories right after school and experience the joy of extracurricular activities. Those hours when my older child is at school are consumed with maintaining the home and doing the (never-ending) laundry, amongst other things. Anticipation of the reunion and knowing how the day went never leaves me. Weekends are for continued connection.
Winging It
Even though I dedicate my days to my family, I am by no means an expert. In fact, I’m rookie status at best. It’s an evolutionary experience. I’m constantly learning AND winging it.
I dedicate my life to this and I’m always worried about screwing up my kids.
Truly.
I may be more tired from the worry of whether or not I’ll do a bad job as a mom than I am actually trying my best to raise them. So when those fleeting moments come to pass when my patience is wearing thin and I am a little tougher than I’d like to be I take a deep breath.
Then I show back up with love.
Privileged
By no means am I judging anyone, as I hope that I too am not being judged. When I feel tired, I actually don’t wallow in it for more than a moment. (Okay, sometimes a few minutes and several times a day.)
Why?
I can’t help but think about the single moms and parents raising their children. How do they do it? Some have one and two or maybe even three jobs. Many don’t get to participate in all that they should. Others only make it to activities in between jobs. The ones that aren’t able to buy the medicine or the diapers that their baby needs because they need the money for gas. Those that worry about how to get the shoes their kid needs. The mom or dad that does not have a CHOICE.
I think about them every day. Every. Single. Day.
Instant Perspective
That is what grounds me. It’s humbling. And I pray. For them AND for me.
Parenting? Yeah, it can be a lot. But it could be a heck of a lot more too.
Knowing that so many are in solidarity should be enough to keep me balanced. However, it’s the knowledge that so many are not that helps me to reflect and put the perspective required. I’m in awe of the mom that is truly doing it on her own. Let’s applaud the parent that works their tail off outside the house with no insurance and no leave.
Can we celebrate the one who does everything humanly possible to keep what’s inside the house warm, and dry, and fed?!
Celebrate
So to every parent – single or with a life partner, I salute you. To those going through struggles or living their best life, I see you. For those parents who love their kids and do everything possible to provide their child(ren) with every opportunity, I hear you. Parenting is a right of passage not everyone chooses to embark on. It’s the most difficult and rewarding experience that life has to offer. (Showing a little understanding and grace to a fellow parent going through their own journey is paramount.)
So celebrate the triumphs however big or small. Really it’s how we deal with things that mark the experiences and memories for our children.
So no matter how tough things may seem, don’t forget, ALWAYS show back up with LOVE.
