Do you ever find yourself in that parent trap? This is the trap we often find ourselves in where our children constantly ask us, “what can I do?”
Our world is filled with instant gratification. We can “binge-watch” our favorite show instead of waiting a week for each new episode, watch a show without commercials, or have anything we need delivered to our house by Amazon with two-day shipping.
Don’t even get me started about social media and video games. Electronic devices can endlessly entertain our kids!
But what happens when we turn it all off?
My boys love to ask the question, “What can I do?” when what they really want is to annoy me so that I allow them more time on technology (video games, iPads, TV – any of it!). This is what entertains them the most, and we all know it engages their brain in a way nothing else will.
When we remove that stimulation of technology, our children start to seek out other ways to stimulate their minds. This often results in behavioral issues, such as whining, bothering each other, or just generally annoying me with the “what can I do?” question.
But let’s be very clear here, I am not here to entertain my children.
I do not give my children things to do. My response to “I’m bored” or “What can I do?” is the same every time, “Figure it out.” I am not your entertainer.
Another favorite response is “clean your room, or the house, or do the yard,” really anything they could do to help around the house. Of course, they never do any of this stuff; they just walk away to sulk about having “nothing to do.”
Kids need this. They need that time of boredom to, just as I told them, figure it out. Kids need time to use their imagination and be creative, and they don’t need us as parents to dictate or help them navigate how that needs to look.
Spoiler Alert! Eventually, they find something to do all on their own. (side note: if your child struggles with this, put together a “to do” jar with activities and/or chores they can pull from during these times.)
One day our kids will be adults; they will need to know how to do and figure out things for themselves. They will need to know what they enjoy doing and that not every second has to be planned or supported by someone else.
Nice job again. It is great to hear young parents speak about the tools to raise children in this day and time. We as older parents were lucky when we raised ours, very few video games, we had stiff rules and followed them. The children played outside most of the time and when they misbehaved there were real consequences every time. Really not that way now a days because of all the new rules for kids and discipline. Everywhere you go as parents you can’t raise your voice, can’t spank, it is a punishment that doesn’t bother a child. Good luck with that.