This post is already five days past its due date. Three baskets of unfolded laundry sit in the mudroom (Husband will do it.) I cannot button my pre-pregnancy jeans (Although at least I can pull them over my hips now.) I ordered my friend’s gift yesterday DURING her bridal shower. (Luckily, she loves me.)
Since childhood, I have been Monica Gellar style Type-A. I pay my bills when they arrive, make lists, and have a place for everything. My mom has photos of me with my stuffed animals proudly lined up in a neat row. I should mention my son did this the other day.
Genetics run strong.
Suffice it to say; I am not feeling like myself these days (reference paragraph one). Our second baby arrived in October, and I recently became a working mom of two.
For the first time, I can’t seem to keep the trains running on time, and that feeling has me shaken.
I’m human, so all the usual self-deprecating thoughts have been flooding my mind.
“I can’t do it all.”
“I’m failing at everything.”
“I miss life feeling fun. This is just exhausting.”
As fun as that is, I’ve recently realized the one thing that will make things easier is finding ways to feel like ME again. Not just Melissa, the exhausted mom/teacher/wife, but the person I’ve always been at my core.
I still have tough days where I feel like my control over things is spiraling, but I have found a handful of strategies that make me feel more like myself again.
1. Move Your Body
Feeling comfortable in your own skin is key. I have been trying to lose those last ten-fifteen pounds of pregnancy weight, but I struggled to find the time to exercise. So, I changed my expectation of what a workout looks like. If I don’t have thirty minutes, I try to fit in a ten-minute express workout. Ten minutes is better than zero. Now that it is getting warm again, walks will be wonderful.
2. Do Something You Love
I love reading and learning, so I’ve started prioritizing reading before going to bed, even if I’m exhausted. Once I can better manage going off to do something on my own, I’d like to start going to barre again and playing tennis.
3. Delegate The Tasks
Hiring a cleaning service to come in once a month has really helped me. It is an additional expense, but I truly needed something taken off my plate. I still clean my home, but having the deeper tasks taken care of has eased my stress.
4. Get Yourself Outside
For me, mess and excess noise are triggers. My living room is often cluttered with Magnatiles. My son’s volume typically doesn’t go below level 7, and my pup is a vocal watchdog. This can cause my stress-o-meter to rise. Yesterday, I set my son up in the yard with his cars and danced with my baby girl in the sunshine. I instantly felt more relaxed and happy.
5. Edit Your List
A lot of my upset stemmed from feeling like I couldn’t keep up. I have started looking at my to-do list and circling 2-3 things each couple of days that are priorities. If I get those done, I have succeeded.
The point? No matter your personality, I think it is common not to recognize yourself for a while postpartum.
What is important is finding ways to get back to “you” because when you are “you,” that is the best version of yourself.
