Ahhh, the holidays! Hands down, my favorite time of year! If 2020, the year of unpredictability, leaves you a little anxious about the holiday season, here are a few things to remember.
BE THE HOSTESS WITHOUT THE MOSTESS
Let me be clear. I am not Martha Stewart, Paula Dean, or Rachel Ray. And I own it. Letting go of unrealistic expectations of holiday perfection means I can enjoy the holidays for what they are…a time to be together.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are always at our house. As the only child of divorced parents, it’s just easier. But with hostess responsibilities comes preparation and execution. Meal planning, shopping, cleaning…you get the idea. There are a million things to do and only one of me. I swallow my pride, relinquish my need for power and control and, ask for help. Don’t hint around. And definitely don’t assume others will see the need. DELEGATE! Unburden yourself with all there is to do and assign duties. You won’t regret it. Well, maybe a little, but you can add a few finishing touches if needed
Kids make a great sous chef! Even the pickiest of eaters are more likely to try a new dish if they helped to prepare it. Most kids can crack eggs, chop vegetables, and make cookies with little supervision. In fact, cooking with my daughters is one of my favorite holiday activities. My girls look forward to decorating the table and making place cards. They do a great job and even know which relatives to separate at the table. Genius!
Now is a great time to encourage the hubby to channel his inner Clark Griswold. Let him pick out the fresh Christmas tree with the kids and illuminate the house’s exterior to the great delight of Gulf Power.
FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT
A few years ago, as much as I hated to do it, I had to trim the fat. First, let’s talk about holiday cards. Maybe some of you enjoy them. For me, it was time consuming, stressful, and a waste of money. Coordinating outfits, bribing the kids to smile, and the daunting task of choosing from endless card designs to illustrate the “perfect” family…no thanks! Have you tried posing on the beach in November, dressed in holiday sweaters, wrangling two children (and a husband) while your mascara is running down your face because it’s 80 degrees outside? Not at all how I want to spend my Saturday. I had to let it go, and I’ve never looked back!
Now, let’s talk about holiday parties. Just because you’re invited to a holiday party does not mean you must attend the holiday party. Be selective. Don’t feel obligated to go to all of them. Choose the parties you want to attend. If I have to put on Spanx, dress up, and wear heels after months of quarantine snacking and stretch pants, you better believe I’ve put a lot of consideration into spending an evening with you.
Dare I mention the Elf on a Shelf? This is a touchy subject, I know. But that guy wears me out! Our kids are old enough where it may be time to “retire” to Santa’s Workshop full-time. He has provided many years of joy, but now he’s just one more thing for me to remember to do. It’s been real. It’s been fun. But this love/hate relationship is coming to an end.
REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN
As my children get older, I realize the holidays are not (or shouldn’t be) about the gift. It’s the experience of togetherness, finding new traditions, and making memories. Having fun!
I don’t remember a single gift I received as a child. But I do remember sitting around the table sharing stories, laughing, and being together in the moment. I remember the look of our family Christmas tree but never the presents underneath.
Memories are the gifts that keep on giving, and we can unwrap them long after the holidays are over.
There’s no single gift I could give my child, except maybe the new iPhone, which would mean more to them than the time we spend together. Keeping that in perspective, reminds me to slow down and enjoy the moment we are in.
Get out of the house! Driving around to see Christmas lights with a cup of hot cocoa while blaring holiday music is a tradition in our family. It always puts me in the spirit and recharges my batteries. Watch your favorite Christmas movies, bake the cookies, and snuggle up on the couch.
Do what is enjoyable, not expected!
SCHEDULE A BREAK
Breaking news: Moms do the majority of the holiday gift buying, wrapping, cooking, and decorating. I’m lucky if my husband pulls the artificial tree down from the garage and drags it into the house the first time I ask (insert eye roll). From there, I spend the better part of a weekend adding copious amounts of twinkly lights and perfectly placed decorations until it rivals a Southern Living magazine picture. Cue my OCD and anal-retentive tendencies. Whatever. It is what it is…I’m a work in progress!
And let’s keep it real. As much as we love family gatherings, they can take a toll on our mental health and rub on the last frayed nerve we have left.
Make sure to schedule time f
or YOU because no else will recognize when you just need a minute.
Lucky for me, I enjoy wrapping gifts. I find it therapeutic and relaxing. Throw on a little holiday music, light a tree-scented candle, and I can knock-out gift wrapping while also decompressing.
Toss a peppermint bath bomb into the tub, pour yourself a cup of cheer, or get lost in a magazine or book. Take a moment when the kids have nestled all snug in their bed and admire the glistening tree while enjoying the quiet house. A few minutes to decompress each day keeps your head level and your holiday temperament balanced.
And you’re worth it!
SIMPLIFY
Find ways to make the holidays easier for you. There are many ways to lighten your load.
If cooking isn’t your jam, have a meal catered. Moms, hear me when I say… this is no time to try a new holiday Pinterest recipe. Who needs that kind of pressure? Ask dinner guests to each bring a dish. But be specific. No one wants four versions of grandma’s sweet potato casserole.
Schedule a grocery pick-up or delivery. Send the hubby with a list and encourage him to take the kids. Granted, he may not come back with everything ON the list. But, it will give you a little peace and quiet and one less thing to do! And when you have to go back to the store to buy what he didn’t, you can grab that bottle of wine you’ve had your eye on because sometimes we have to buy our own gifts!
Some stores offer gift-wrapping services. There are local service organizations that will wrap gifts for you for a small donation to their club. How easy is that?
When it comes to gift-giving, less is more. Admittedly, I am more of a practical gift giver. Of course, I will throw a few fun presents under the tree, but I am definitely not stressing over finding “the perfect gifts.” The receiver will find the meaning of the gift.
REMEMBER THIS…
Always remember the reason for the season.
After all, this should be a joyous time of year full of festivity, family fun, and unique traditions. Moms are the glue that hold the holidays together. Do your best to eliminate unnecessary pressure and don’t get caught up in meaningless details. There are many moving parts during the holidays, so forget the craziness and give yourself grace!
Remember… this is your holiday, too!
