Around 2:00 am one morning, I woke to numbness taking over my right side. Within what felt like minutes, I lost the ability to speak and move my right arm and leg. As my ability to speak was fading, I woke my husband and let him know something was wrong, and he called for medical assistance.
There are no words really to describe the emotions that rushed through my mind during the process.
Fighting the fear that wanted to consume me at that time took everything I had.
This experience was diagnosed as a TIA (transient ischemic attack).
There were no signs of damage visible on the scans. Hearing everything was clear was great, but it added so many questions about why I had this experience. In the months following, I had many follow-up appointments and was monitored closely as a TIA could indicate future strokes.
As a mom, I am guilty of putting myself second or last as needed. I have witnessed many moms and grandmothers take the caretaker role and neglect their own health. That is something I thought I was aware of to prevent for myself. I stay active, try to eat right, and monitor my blood pressure, blood sugar, weight, and cholesterol to be sure they are in a healthy range.
Based on what I thought I knew, having a mini-stroke at age 40 never entered my mind.
My annual check-ups and any other doctor appointments consisted of a checklist and note cards to make sure I covered everything. My doctor would ask at every appointment about my stress level. Staying aware of my stress level was a high priority, and I thought I was managing well.
Hindsight is always able to add clarity to a situation.
After experiencing the TIA and having multiple tests, I learned I did not have a full picture of my situation. My overall health management was not inclusive of underlying conditions. Learning more about my body and my overall health has encouraged me to become more aware of my risks and learn better ways to manage my health proactively.
Looking back with a pair of hindsight 2020 glasses, some moments could have raised questions that may have provided knowledge of the underlying conditions that led to my mini-stroke.
That is where I see that I had probably shrugged something off because it didn’t fit the schedule.
If it were bad, it would reoccur, right? Then I would call the doctor.
Today, I would tell every mom to write it down and mention it at their next doctor appointment.
The next time it happens, it may be more severe and at 2:00 am, at the top of a mountain on spring break, during a trip you planned for your daughter’s 15th birthday.
Meeting stroke survivors and others this past year has been eye-opening. Before my TIA, I only knew a few people that had survived a stroke. Two of them were family members, and for each, the strokes had been severe. The damage had impacted their life in significant ways. This only increased my fear and worry about my health and the possibility of what could be coming my way.
During my recovery, many people reached out personally or provided support information, even introducing me to others with similar experiences. Having the opportunities to talk openly to others allowed me to better sort through my feelings and fears. Regardless of the long-term outcome, a new normal would find me.
Leaving that day in the past was harder than I expected.
My recovery has been nearly 100 percent and still going well. Even having a solid recovery, I have found that the risk of the unknown and fear of another TIA or, even worse, a full stroke was overwhelming at times.
Today, I use this as a tool to manage my stress and keep my motivation to follow a healthy lifestyle.
A reminder that tomorrow is never promised for anyone.
